What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Former ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ star breaks down in tears over ALS diagnosis - PennLive.com

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

NBA Trade Rumors Roundup: Kevin Durant trade could happen soon, Clippers in the mix - NBC Sports

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Paleontologists Uncover 465-Million-Year-Old Secret: The True Purpose of the First “Teeth” - SciTechDaily

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

What are the differences between INFJ-T and INFJ A?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Measles in Alabama? Officials investigating possible case that would be state’s first in years - AL.com

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

The Y chromosome is disappearing, and this fact is already causing problems for men - Earth.com

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

DePaul soccer player Chase Stegall dies in residence hall - Chicago Sun-Times

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Do you think some men have sex with prostitutes because they're too afraid to talk to women? Money does the talking for them.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

What are some good sunscreens for a teen with oily skin?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

TEXT:

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Airlines Scrubbed Cheap Fares After Getting Caught Charging Solo Travelers More—But Prices Won’t Stay High - View from the Wing

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Can women learn to squirt?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.